I have
recently had two frequent requests from friends on social media. One is to turn
my profile purple in order to honor those that have battled with cancer and
also those who did their best but lost the fight. I have done this not just because I think it
is admirable of the people at Chevrolet to give up to a million dollars to
fight this curse but also because I have played in this game too long and want
to see it stop. It was not hard decision to make. I watched too many of my
friends and family wage against this; too many that I have loved and lost because
of it. Every little thing helps. I am
willing to turn purple for a day for this.
The
second request I have been receiving is this. It is about a bench and if you
had an hour, who would you choose to sit with, who would it be?
I have
written a couple of responses to people about this, but on a cold snowy night I
came up with my best list. Here it is in ascending order.
I would
sit with Joyce, Faulkner, Einstein, Picasso, Mozart, Churchill, Freud, Seeger and
any other of the great minds in our history, just to learn from them. An hour would not be nearly long enough but I
would take it if that was all I got. My questions to them would be “Why? How?”
I would
like to sit with my grandfather again and listen to his stories full of
embellishments as they were, and to hear him sing me a lullaby as I fell asleep
against his arm. I would like to hear
him say one more time that I was his boy, the son he did not have. The same is true of my grandmother, the
greatest woman, who put up with him, raised a beautiful daughter and then took on
us and all our children when her daughter and husband were gone.
If the
bench were big enough, I would sit in the grass and watch my five brothers and
sisters, how they interact, argue, and laugh.
I love the tornado that is our loud and overlapping conversations, filled
with intelligent ideas, opinions and trivia. I am blessed to come from a very
smart and caring family. I would do anything for them. They do the same for me. I model them as I raise my own children.
I would
like to sit with mother and tell her about how the 24 year-old man she left behind
too soon became a good husband, father and man. I would like for her to tell me
about her life and understand how it became my life. I would especially like it
if my wife was there too, lying with her head in my mom’s lap, like she always
did, listening to us and smiling.
I would
like to be with my Dad and ask again for advice. It was something he always gave
willingly and kindly but I can’t request anymore. He always shared his life with me and I
appreciate that, but questions still remain. It would have been nice to get
those questions answered on a bench some afternoon. I know though, because he
was a generous man, he would have answered any questions I asked. He always told
us and promised that there was no question we had, regardless of what it was
about, that he wouldn’t answer.
I’m not
sure my children would sit on a bench with me because they are too restless and
there are a lot of them. Nevertheless, I
would sit on a bench with any one of them, not just my three but any and all
the kids that I have had the privilege to participate in raising or have
mentored over the years. There is no
such thing as growing old when you have young people around you who treat you
as their equal and engage you in new music, new movies, new literature, and all
sorts of other ways of thinking about things. I like that they all have very strong
values. I hope me and my wife had a part in that.
I would
sit with my best friend for over 35 years who I still adore. I know I would
still smile and laugh at anything Mrs. Campbell, as I call her, said and feel
better about just about anything I felt bad about.
The
ultimate person I would want to sit on a bench with is Karen, my wife and companion
for more than half my life. I imagine we
would talk about how wonderful it is that we built a family, a home, a life
together. One that is good. I see
holding her hand and talking about what the next chapter of our lives will look
like now that some of the children have grown and gone on to their passions,
and only one is still finding her fruit. One hour would never be enough with her. We would just have to plan that every morning
and every evening we would spend one hour doing that and then string it
together for the rest of our lives.
There is only one other that I haven't mentioned that I would want to
spend one hour on a bench with. That is God. I can’t imagine what he would look
like. I might not even recognize him if he sat down beside me. He may be rich
or poor, old or young, black or white or something else. He might be a she. I
have a feeling he would look a lot like me because he would want me to feel
comfortable in talking to him. Like the
great minds of our civilization, I would have many questions of him. I think I would probably ask him or her, the
same question I would ask all other brilliant people, “Why?” As I
played around with that in my mind and tried to think how God might respond to that, the
only thing I could come up with was “Because.” I thought I would probably respond like I did as a kid, as my daughter, Meredith, did when she was little, "Why because?" The answer would be "Just because."
It’s a bad answer in some regards, but not really. It is a parent's answer. I have used it myself sometimes. What is God, after all, if not a parent? I think if I got an hour on the bench in the picture above with God I would take that answer and just sit, silently, enjoying the beautiful sun setting on another day, feeling grateful I am alive and that I got an opportunity to watch it with him (or her). I know that as parents we often say, "Just because." I also know it is shorthand for the full line which is, "Just because I love you."
It’s a bad answer in some regards, but not really. It is a parent's answer. I have used it myself sometimes. What is God, after all, if not a parent? I think if I got an hour on the bench in the picture above with God I would take that answer and just sit, silently, enjoying the beautiful sun setting on another day, feeling grateful I am alive and that I got an opportunity to watch it with him (or her). I know that as parents we often say, "Just because." I also know it is shorthand for the full line which is, "Just because I love you."
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