A week ago my middle son, Matthew, graduated from high
school. Over the course of the last few
years I have had many young people live with me and my family for long or short
periods, for a variety of reasons. These
individuals have become part of my family and I love them just as much as I
love my own three children.
As each of them graduate, I always give them, one way or another,
the same commencement message. It’s not
like I have all of the answers, but these are lessons I learned from my parents
and through life and that I like to offer up to these great kids who are going
out to deal with the world. It is in a
way the commencement speech nobody asked me to give.
First, if you believe you are entitled to anything, stop
now. Everything you achieve in life; your position, your relationships, your
wealth, will be achieved through care and hard work.
Second, learn to master two important expressions. When someone does something good for you, no
matter how big or how small, or no matter who it is, learn to say, “Thank you.”
It shows you are a grateful and gracious person. Also, learn that you will mistakes, and when
you do, say, “I’m sorry,” and work to fix the problem as soon as you possibly
can. That shows you are accountable and take
responsibility for your actions, both the ones that are good and your missteps.
Finally, find what the passion in your life is and then pursue
it relentlessly, even if it is not your vocation. Some of the most interesting
people I have met are surgeons who were also chefs, ministers who surfed, and businesspeople
who sang in weekend bands. No matter
what along the way you think you have to do, keep doing what you want to do.
Otherwise, you risk regret and becoming what T.S. Eliot described as a “Hollow
Man.”
It is your goal to build a personal brand that you can be
proud of. Look back at these lessons and
go forth, young man or woman. Make us
proud that we produced a generation of people who will make this world a better
place.
Bless you all. I know you will.
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